Is there a book in here?

I went to a Woman's Wellness Show a few weeks ago. There were a bunch of tables and booths set up with various types of businesses. Mostly they were massage therapists, jewelery vendors, and different home party consultants. But way back in a corner was a publishing company. It was odd because she didn't really fit in with the rest of the businesses. I stopped and chatted with her for a few minutes. I asked her what is involved in having a book published and she went over the basics of it. She asked me if I had a book in mind and I told her that I did, and I even had most of it already written out. She gave me her card and suggested I come in to meet with her. She'll see what I have done already and guide me where to go from here.

I haven't done that yet. I am still unsure of whether to try to publish my memoir or not. I want to publish because I know there are not enough books on stillbirth; especially ones that tell the whole story rather than just snippets. The majority of books on stillbirth and infant loss either deal with the clinical side of it or are very religious. I just want to tell my story. I don't want to delve into the statistics and the medical backgrounds of stillbirth. I just want people to know about Benjamin and how his life (and death) changed my world. I want to have a book out there that might help other people know that they are not alone; to let people know how one mother coped with the devastation.

But the process seems so daunting. So much work. Let's face it, I have a lot on my plate right now. To focus on publishing my story just seems like one more thing that I'll only be able to partially focus on. If I'm going to actually go through the process of publishing Benjamin's story I want it done right.

So maybe I'll meet with this publishing lady. Maybe I'll see what is involved. Or maybe I'll just keep dreaming about the 'some day'. Some day when I have more time. Some day when I am not exhausted. Some day when I don't have eight million other things on the go. Some day I'll publish this story.