Tuesday, June 12, 2012

oh yeah...

By the way... I'm pregnant again. Geesh!! I wrote a post forever ago saying this but never finished it or published it, lol! And we moved from BC to Alberta... Lots of changes!

I am 22 weeks (tomorrow). I'm due October 17th and we will be waiting until then to find out if we will have another son or daughter. I'm excited but nervous.

Just thought I should explain that last post a little bit...

Jackson and Peanut

Jackson is excited for Peanut to be born. He asks me often when that is going to happen. He doesn't understand the concept of months yet. So when I tell him Peanut will be born in 4 months he thinks I mean 4 days and excitedly remarks "that's not very long at all!". Then I have to burst his bubble and tell him it's about 120 days. Poor kid, lol!

Last night we were lying in his bed chatting. He asked me if I was going to die. I told him I had no plans of dying any time soon and he didn't need to worry about that. Then he asked me if Peanut was going to die. I told him that I hoped not and we had no reason to think he would. He said he was worried about Peanut dying because Benjamin died. Do you hear that sound? That's the sound of my heart breaking a little bit. We chatted a bit about how I hoped that wouldn't happen and that he didn't need to worry about that, that likely Peanut would be born fine and healthy. All the things I know should be true but have a hard time believing myself. How do you adequately reassure a kid when you have doubts yourself?

Last night Brian felt Peanut move for the first time (I'm 22 weeks tomorrow). I am feeling consistent movement now but it's still somewhat light so I was surprised that he was able to feel it so well. I love this part of pregnancy. I go for another ultrasound today and just booked my first maternity doctor appointment here in our new city for next week. So far things are going well. No reason to think there is any cause for concern. That's not reassuring to me though.