Sunday, June 7, 2009

A good day

I started a support group with another mom that lost a baby. We've had a few meetings now and seem to get a new member every month. That sounds impressive but considering we've only been having meetings for 3 months now that just means that there are now 5 members of our group, lol. At our last meeting we were talking about giving birth. One of the members was talking about how she's only had cesarean sections and really wants to experience a vaginal birth. That got all of us talking about giving birth and all the positive experiences and feelings of it. For the first time this pregnancy I had flutterings of excitement.

I love giving birth. I am one of those odd women that enjoys going into labour, going through the hours of labour leading up to the birth, and then that glorious moment when the baby first comes out and you feel that sudden change. That change from being one being with your baby to suddenly having them out in the world, out into your arms. Where you can look at them, kiss them, hold them in your arms and just be in pure utter awe of them. All the hours of discomfort, pain, excitement and fear just dissipate in that moment. And there he is, your baby, your glorious baby.

My labour and delivery with Jackson was textbook. It had it's moments of worry but all in all it was a beautiful experience. My labour and delivery with Benjamin was as good as it could have been given the circumstances. I still had that moment when he first came out and I got to see him. Granted it was bittersweet, but it was still that moment that you wait for. That moment to finally see the little bean that has been kicking, punching, rolling, and hiccuping away inside of you. To finally see face to face who you've gotten to know over those past few months.

So on Friday I finally had that excitement. That flutter in my gut and in my heart when I thought about when Thumper would be born. I was actually able to imagine that moment when Thumper becomes his/her own separate entity and the doctor places him/her on my chest and I can just gaze at the glory that is my new baby. I'm not ready yet to imagine that the baby that is placed on my chest will be living, breathing and screaming, but I know I'll get there.

It was a good day.

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